- "Look at that face! I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl"
- —Bernard Black
Danny Spudge is the author of Thick as Thieves, his autobiography about his life as a criminal and thug. He is very imposing and dominant, and has an obsession with removing the body parts of his victims, particularly their thumbs. He claims to have changed his ways, however, he still uses his aggresive and imposing presence to dominate people.
In 2002, Danny's uncle, Gus, arranged for Danny to do a book reading at the eponymous bookshop, Black Books. Danny obliged and met the owner Bernard Black and his assistant Manny Bianco. Both Manny and Bernard were both terrified by Danny, and were shocked when they discovered that he was illiterate, and wrote the book via a ghostwriter. Despite Bernard pleading with him to cancel the reading, Danny insisted that he and Manny give him reading lessons before the reading.
Although both Bernard and Manny are very well-read, they were incapable of teaching Danny how to read, and by the day before the reading, Danny was still clueless about the English language. Danny even threatened to kill Bernard and Manny if he was unable to read by the day of the reading. However, help arrived when Fran Katzenjammer used her assertive and no-nonsense personality to force Danny to read. However Danny, Bernard, Fran, and Manny made an unanimous decision to abandon the reading and to use Danny's newfound reading skills to convert some of the books in the shop into audio books, with Danny as narrotor. These books included Don DeLillo's Underworld and Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It is likely that Danny recorded an audio book of Thick as Thieves as well.
- Danny is a masculine given name of Hebrew origin. It is a variant of Daniel and translates to 'God is my judge'.
- Spudge is a slang term for 'to move slowly'.
Behind the scenes Edit
- Danny Spudge was portrayed by British actor, Ricky Grover.